Trials and Tribulations of a Mom

So...today was a trying day. On Wednesdays Zach attends a special afternoon activity, it's bowling at the local bowling alley. It's only a 10 week program, and they charge $10 for 3 games, shoes, and the transportation to the alley. So, for the past few weeks I've been sending Zach to school with a $20 bill in an envelope clearly labeled "BOWLING $$" and have told him that he is to give the envelope to the people at the alley. I had tried to prepay at the beginning of the program, but they decided that prepay wasn't a good idea incase of emergencies, or a snow day. They didn't want to have to worry about refunding anyone any money. The last two times our envelope system worked, no problems. He gave the woman at the alley the money, and the excess $10 was applied to the next weeks bowling. I verified with the woman in charge that the money was received.

Today was different. I put the money in the envelope as usual and brought Zach to school. I picked him up from bowling BUT didn't check with the woman about the money. I thought, hey-I can trust him, he's a good kid. Zach asked what we were having for dinner, I told him Chicken Manicotti, he didn't seem very interested, but with new things he usually never is. During dinner he picked at his plate. He offered to eat twice as many vegetables in exchange of his main dish. He was acting like he'd already eaten. My mom picked up on it and kept asking Zach what he had to eat at the bowling alley. Every time he answered nothing.

Finally I told him that if he answered honestly he wouldn't get in trouble.

Now I know that I shouldn't have said it quite like that. I should have said that he wouldn't get in as much trouble. And now I'm worried that in the future he might not be as willing to tell me things.

He finally admitted to taking money. When the woman at the bowling alley was collecting money, Zach opened the envelope, gave her the $20 bill, then asked for $10 change, of which she gave him. Why shouldn't she, she's not his mother, she didn't know that he would get in trouble. So, he took the $10 bill and went to the snack bar with his friend, and bought curly fries, cookies and ice cream. $10 worth... of curly fries.... cookies.... and ice cream.

He shared with his friend...how nice.

I sat at the kitchen table listening to Zach tell me what he did with the money. I didn't yell. I didn't scream. I didn't say anything. I just sat there. Zach stared at his food, then looked up and asked, "Are you mad at me?"

Yes, yes I am.

So...I didn't erupt. Zach is 9. He's done some really stupid things in the past. But, I chalk it up to the fact, that's he's 9. This, this took a thought process. He had to decide to take the money KNOWING that he would eventually get in trouble. It might not have been today, it might have been the next time he went bowling. I would show up to pick him up and be confronted by the woman at the alley telling me that I owed her money. I would then say, "No, that's impossible, he came with $20 last week." Then I would see the look on his face that would tell me what happened. That didn't happen though. He owned up to what he did. Immediately I told him he would no longer go to the after school program. There was only 3 more weeks left, but that was beside the point, he dug his grave. I told him right then that I wasn't done with his punishment, that I would have to think about it. The whole time my mom was telling Zach that he was a few minutes away from a spanking. Now, I know she was mad. But I stopped spanking Zach a long time ago. It's been at least 3 years since I've given him a meaningful swat on the behind. I didn't have any plans to spank Zach. He tried coming to me two times to apologize, but I was still too mad and told him that I wasn't ready to hear it.

So, right before bedtime I made a decision. While Zach was out talking to Nena, I disconnected his computer monitor. For Christmas Zach got his very own computer for his bedroom. He's been on it a lot, and I knew that this would be hitting him hard, and removing the monitor is a visual reminder of what he's lost. I brought him into his room and told him that he would not have any computer for 1 month. I told him that after 1 month I would decide whether I trust him enough to get the computer back. I also told him that he would be repaying me. Now, Zach went to my grandparents 2 weeks ago, and my grandmother sweetly gave Zach $10 for helping with yard work. I figured it would be too easy for him just to reach into his wallet and pay me back. I told him that I work hard for my money and that he would have to work hard to pay me back, at $0.25 an hour. My cousin Ceara gave me the idea of a quarter an hour telling me that her husband's father used to do the same thing with him and his siblings. She suggested $0.50 an hour, I told her I wasn't adjusting for inflation.

Then I had a conversation with Zach about his behavior. I told him that I was really disappointed in his behavior. I'm always told by my friends and other people about how well behaved he is. I hold higher expectations for him than he holds for himself.

I made a motion at his eye level and said "Zach, this is the level your friends are at. Do you know what level you are on?"

He made a thumbs down motion.

"Wrong."

"Your friends are here", I said making the motion again, "Where are you?"

He gave me a thumbs up sign this time. "That's right. You are way up here!" and I made a motion that was way above his head, way above my head even. I told him how he was so much better than this. That I know what a great kid he is, what a great person he is. I knew he could do better, and that he will do better because he has it in him to do better. I put Zach to bed, he was still visibly upset. He said his nightly prayers in a mumble. Afterward he looked at me and said, "Well, I could have done a better job at that." So I responded, "Then lets!", and we re-said our prayers. After prayers I told him that I was ready to hear his apology. He told me that he was very sorry that he disappointed me, and that he knows he can do better, and that he would try really hard to be a better son and not do anything like this again. I told him that I loved him very much and gave him tons of good night kisses and an extra long goodnight hug.

After I told Nena and Papa that Zach was waiting for his goodnight kisses, I went into my bedroom and tried really really hard not to cry. I've said before that I'm going to be bad at this parent thing. I'm going to make a ton of mistakes. I can't help but feel that I've done something in his rearing that would have compelled him to do this, especially when he can't tell me WHY he does the things that he does! Every day is a new adventure with a 9 year old boy. I said the same thing last year when he was 8, and I'll say the same thing next year when he's 10. I thank God that he blessed me with such a wonderful little boy.

Racy photos and Boobie bracelets....are ANY of them acceptable in school???

There is nothing more passionate to a parent then their children. This passion has led to a TREMENDOUS debate within my son's school district. In my last post I explained about a controversy that has been on the desk of school officials, administrators and educators at the high school in my district. It has led to many many arguments. I just want to share with you a discussion thread from a local television station that has covered the controversy. A cookie to whomever can guess which discussion poster I am. And I ask you, what's your take on this?

Regarding: The South Glens Falls High School assistant principal who is disciplining students for wearing provocative bracelets is at the heart of a controversy surrounding some provocative photos.

William J OBrien
Watervliet, NY
Please!!!!!They are wax figures. Don't we have better things to do with our time than second guess people...Especially when their conduct is not in violation of the law.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jango Davis
The school was right to suspend that little punk. He could care less about the disease, he just wanted to say "boobies" in a school setting and justify it. My sister is struggling with the disease and I don't need some little zitface creep cheapening the fight, nor an ignorant mother who has no idea of what is appropriate in a public school setting and what isn't.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SGF Parent
Greenwich, NY
Has anyone determined, including the Post Star or WNYT, if these photos were directly posted on Mr. Lis's facebook page, OR were they posted on his friend's page whom then tagged him in the photos? I don't think it's right to possibly condemn him for something he might not have done? Where did you acquire the photos from?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jeffrito alliendo
Albany, NY
am i the only one who gets it that facebook is just a tool of social control and marketing
NEVER post anything real on there!

Our forefathers fought for PRIVACY for a very good reason. Keep your life to yourself dummies

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SGF Parent
Greenwich, NY
Kyle Lis is an outstanding administrator, and a MUCH needed backbone for the discipline of South High. It's amazing that the first thing a parent does when their child gets into trouble is blame the school! It seems like this all stems from a few parents who are angry because their kids got in trouble for wearing an article of clothing, these bracelets, that are against the school's dress code. Have you read the school's dress code? It doesn't ask for much. I think the first thing these parents should have done when their kids got in trouble was to DISCIPLINE your kids. Stop making the school districts RAISE your children! Why should your child's school be the first place they learn how to speak without swearing, be respectful to other people and adults, and dress appropriately???

I am in no way condoning the fact that Kyle had his Facebook open so that everyone could see it. That was a misjudgment on his part. The page has been taken down though. I would hope these parents are policing their own kids social networking pages as much as they are cyber stalking the school administration. I know for a fact that one of the parents, if you link to her own kids pages they have pages where they are a fan of drinking games (her daughter who is UNDERAGE), and the F-Bomb is clearly abundant.

"Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Truth
Mechanicville, NY
People, look at the facts and you’ll see the truth. I have the distinct ‘pleasure’ of being a neighbor to these people in addition to having a child in the school with him. I’d like to fill in some of the blanks.

He WASN’T disciplined for the bracelet. He was disciplined for swearing at the teacher after he was asked to turn it inside out.
For those that see him as a rebel for standing up against authority, ask yourself why we pay high school taxes? Is it so teachers and administrators can deal with disruptions in class like this or should they be free to focus on the education process. I want my child to have as much time allocated to his/her education as possible, rather than time spent on distractions like this.
Speakijng of which, if the mother was soo concerned about her son’s education, why would she even allow the possibility of such a distration? It’s called parenting. She is only disseminating this sense of entitlement on her children.
If he was such a social do-gooder, why wouldn’t he have bought a bracelet that supported NOT FOR PROFIT Breast Cancer research, such as the Susan G. Colman foundation rather than one that simply raises ‘awareness’? Why? Because it didn’t say “Boobies”.

Now we find the same mother exploiting every angle to get some vindication from the school and their administration. I chose to enroll my children in this particular district because the awards and accolldes for their staff have received for years. Look at this from my point of view, now my children have to deal with this unruley, undisciplined and disrespectful child. Thanks for taking away from my children’s education!

Take a step back and think about what this is teaching her children. What a Mom!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SLANDER LAWSUIT
Mechanicville, NY
Dear the "TRUTH:"
I do not even know where to begin. First, let me say that EVERYTHING you say is a outright lie!
1. My son was disciplined for wearing the bracelet. I have the referral! He did not swear, he was not rude or disrespectful. If he had been then there would have been swift ramifications and he knows this. Should you continue to publicly make such allegations you too should be prepared for the ramifications!
2. We had NOTHING to do with this situation with Mr. Lis. While he did exhibit inappropriate judgement it is a matter for the school. We had no part of the face book account or publicizing these pictures!
3. Keep a breast is a NOT FOR PROFIT 501 company with MANY international awards! Do your homework! The Keep A Breast Foundation™ is a 501 (c)(3) non-profit organization. "Our mission is to help eradicate breast cancer by exposing young people to methods of prevention, early detection and support. Through art events, educational programs and fundraising efforts, we seek to increase breast cancer awareness among young people so they are better equipped to make choices and develop habits that will benefit their long-term health and well-being."
My son chooses to wear this bracelet because people ask him about it and he has the opportunity to explain what it means and what it stands for! He is passionate about this and I support that!
Get your facts straight and please by all means let me know who you are and I will be happy to serve you with the slander suit personally!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dawn
Queensbury, NY
South Glens Falls Has/Had the Highest drop out level and I can give you some stories but I wont be mean... and If the time comes I will state what Mr. Lis said to my daughter a previous student!!!!! Mr. Lis is not a professional person!!!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SGFMOM
Schuylerville, NY
They were posted on Kyle's page and NOT tagged like you said. He had a lot of pictures in his "Vegas 2010" album. Was he tagged in all of them too? NO. I went to the page and saw for myself. When you are tagged in pictures that are posted by someone else, they don't go into an album with a specific name they go into your general pictures. They would have also said "Your name here was tagged in a photo" and they would have been shown individually on his wall. This was not the case. The point of this whole thing is, the student wanted to support Breast Cancer, offered to turn the bracelet inside out so the wording could not be seen. This was in honor of a relative who has/had breast cancer. As for the young man not wanting to do this for breast cancer, you need to get your minds out of the gutter and realize that not everyone is like you in that respect. My children went to this school and I know how the administration works. Do as I say not as I do is not a lesson to be taught to our young people. Mr. Lis was wrong, do I think he should lose his job? Maybe a few days off without pay would work. This school district has a lot of issues right now, part of the bullying in this district is done by the facility and administration as well as some of the students. Mr. Mulholland did gather the facts correctly. Maybe you need to check your facts before you listen to what you have been told and not seen for yourself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SGF Parent
Greenwich, NY

SGFMOM wrote:
My children weren't angels and I know that. The administration does not have the right to stop a child's freedom of speech. Remember learning that in school?

The only right your child has in school is the right to a free and appropriate education in the least restrictive environment: the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (504 Plan).

Student's do NOT have the right to freedom of speech in school...see Morse v. Frederick, 551 U.S. 393 (2007) which states that students do NOT have freedom of speech where it undermines schools' educational missions. The US Supreme Court has said public school officials can't censor you or your children UNLESS officials have a "reasonable expectation" that your expression will cause a material and substantial disruption of school activities. Disrupting class, well that's practically the definition. NYS Dept of Education has defined it's laws and regulations regarding codes of conduct on school property and clearly states every school district shall adopt and amend, as appropriate, a code of conduct for the maintenance of order on school property, including provisions regarding conduct, dress and language deemed appropriate and acceptable on school property. The bracelet was against the school dress code-thereby going against the school's code of conduct, simple as that. I am in no way stating that the student was attempting to incite a riot, but he wasn't organizing a political rally either.

Secondly-if the student who wore the bracelet were that active in breast cancer research-what else has he done BESIDE wear the bracelet? Has he participated in any Susan D Komen events? Has he walked in the Avon Walk for the Cure? Has he encouraged his fellow students to "Give a click @ the Breast Cancer Site"? Has he participated in an American Cancer Society events at all??? If the only thing the student did was beg his mother to spend $3.95 on a bracelet, he supports his cause with the lack luster that most adults do when they give $1 at the local supermarket for the charity du jour.

Thirdly-I agree that SH needs to do something about Bullying. This I stand behind you 100%. All schools need to take a more proactive stand to stomp out bullying. I don't see the bullying you speak of by the administration though, and I've been very active in this district. Most of the hype from administration bullying comes from the parents of students who happen to frequent administrator's offices. Instead of questioning the administration's motives, maybe those parents should be questioning what their children are doing to land themselves in their offices numerous times? Maybe we should nip this sense of entitlement our kids have in the butt and start teaching them how to have character and respect at home, instead of landing that responsibility on the shoulders of our educators.

Lastly-to the contributor who blindly states that SGF High School has the HIGHEST drop out rate, you should do your homework. South High experiences a drop out rate far below the state average of 5%. I have a friend who is a teacher across the river in GF High School who states that their drop out rate is skyrocketing. You CANNOT say that about South High. Check the school's state report card before you go flinging accusations like that around. I moved TO this district from a larger higher profile school because of the awards, teaching experience, accolades and dedication of South Glens Falls' teachers. I've done my homework.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SGFMOM
Schuylerville, NY
To: SGF PARENT
My children attend this school district and I was one of the few parents that supported the punishment my children received IF THEY DESERVED IT! If my children were wrong then they had to deal with the punishment at school and then deal with us at home. If my child was in the right, which honestly happened a few times, I stood behind them 100%. How about a child being suspended for 3 days with the threat of expulsion because an Assistant Principal accused him of having a "6" Hunting Knife with a wooden look handle"? When I went to the school to retrieve the "Hunting Knife" it turned out to be one of those small silver gadgets you put on your key chain with the hook to clean your nails. My child went through hell because we did own a hunting knife and we couldn't find it. We believed the AP because why would she lie? What did she have to gain? The AP lied to us!!! She as well as another administrator routinely bullied my son any chance they got. My son was far from being an angel but, the routine targeting of students is ridiculous!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Real Truth
Saratoga Springs, NY
Dear Slander Lawsuit, you may not have intentionally wanted this issue to go this far, but it has, and you are the one that has caused it all. We discuss people who bully etc, but is that not what you are doing with "tell me your name" dont you think this has gone far enough ? How many more people are you going to try and destroy over this ? Here are my facts:
1)Mr Lis did not suspend your child for the braclett, the child was suspended for what he responded to the teacher. Mr Lis was doing his job as an AP, please dont support your child with disrespecting a teacher.
2) Slander lawsuit, you bet, but it is going to be against Candy Funk as she and she alone created the facebook page, and emailed and called everyone over pictures that Mr Lis did not even put on facebook himself. If you are truly concerned for children, you dont call them, email them and tell them to log into it.
3)I really and truly believe your heart was in the right place with the breast cancer issue, I just believe the way you put it out there was not appropriate for kids.
I think at this point you need to lead the cause to stop what is happening with this and help get the district back to focus on education and suicide and all the very bad things that happen today. You are an attorney correct ? Then you of all people should know right from wrong. We have no way of knowing what else could spin from all of this, its now into destroying the reputation of a good person, what would happen next, I only hope it is not violence against someone. Start doing the right thing and do not feed anymore into the wrong behavior of the Funk family. You are better than that !

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SGFMOM
Schuylerville, NY
2) Slander lawsuit, you bet, but it is going to be against Candy Funk as she and she alone created the facebook page, and emailed and called everyone over pictures that Mr Lis did not even put on facebook himself. If you are truly concerned for children, you dont call them, email them and tell them to log into it.

FYI Mrs. Funk did NOT do the facebook page!

Mrs. Funk did not alert the media!! I DID!!!

Again, the pictures WERE on Lis's page. THEY WERE NOT TAGGED PICTURES!!!

So much for your facts!!!!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Really
Saratoga Springs, NY
SGF Mom, the ip address has been tracked, and Candy Funk is tracked on all news station blogs telling everyone to log in. The Post Star says she admits she did it. Her daughter is telling my children as well as others that have finally got Mr. Lis and they got him fired. hmmmm ! Correct the pictures wer not tagged, but they were not added by Mr Lis. Someone in his household did not have an account and she put them on so her family in Las Vegas could get to them. As she did not have an account she did not know that you had to go in and make them private. Mr Lis found out after the fact, but Candy Funk had already started. All the truth will come out in the courts ! I am sure someone could make an honest mistake or dig up something on you if they tried, how do you think you would feel ? As far as the Funks go, you dont find it her daughters facebook offensive ? It is much worse than any picture in a wax museum !

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SGF Parent
Greenwich, NY
If you visit the WNYT, WRGB or WTEN facebook pages, Mrs. Funk has posted the following message:

"Candy Hargett Funk: Kyle Lis...go to his wall you don't have to be his friend. He is the assistant principal of our High School and he is sending kids home because they are wearing a "boobies" bracelet. This is public access. On his wall look at his Vegas 2010 pics. The entire student body can see this. I guess he loves boobies too"

This is not only posted by her on the news stations, but her daughter is posting it on all their friend's pages:

"Brittany Funk: Kyle Lis...go to his wall you don't have to be his friend. He is the assistant principal of our High School and he is sending kids home because they are wearing a "i ♥ boobies" bracelet. This is public access. On his wall look at his Vegas 2010 pics. The entire student body can see this. I guess he loves boobies too"

These are on their Facebook pages, it is public access, for everyone to see. What kind of example is this parent showing her child, and she has the audacity to point fingers? Mrs Funk...people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

I (Heart) Privacy

If people in this day in age don't realize that ANYTHING they post on the Internet is fair game...someone needs to slap them upside the head. Let me give a little back story to my rant...

A month ago I'm at home surfing the net trying to find a job(as usual) when on the Post Star's website I come across a story about how a freshman at the local high school was given after school detention for wearing a black bracelet that had big white letters saying "I (heart) Boobies". The phrase is used by the online group Keep A Breast Foundation, a not-for-profit group whose "mission is to help eradicate breast cancer by exposing young people to methods of prevention, early detection and support." The Keep A Breast people explain that the bracelets are intended for young women to take responsibility for their bodies. They say that many women develop a negative attitude toward their breasts and put so much energy into criticizing them or wishing they were different that they don't take the steps necessary for prevention of breast cancer. Sounds like a good thing, right?

Nowhere on the website do they explain what these bracelets are supposed to be doing for pimple faced high school freshman boys. What happened was a student(male) in a science class (yes-I know the teacher of the class and got her side of the story-on top of what I've read and seen on the news) wore the bracelet to school. She felt that the bracelet was inappropriate and asked that he take it off. All he had to do was take it off her in class, he could have easily put it back on after class, but-he refused. He offered a compromise of turning the bracelet inside out, but this was after he had already given the teacher attitude. He was sent to in-school detention, and then was assigned to after school detention for breaking the school's dress code. He was advised that he could no longer wear the bracelet to school. His mother, in my opinion-looking for her 15 minutes, called the local newspaper and television stations in a outrage that her son was "suspended" for breast cancer awareness. She bought him the bracelet after he asked for it for his birthday, not thinking...OH-this could be bad? She stated that he had a family member who has had breast cancer, but in my opinion, I highly doubt that was his motivation. The teacher stated she had an aunt pass away from breast cancer and found it very offensive.

OK-let's see....15 year old boy.....boobies. Yeah-his motivations were purely for breast cancer awareness.


How about - WAKE UP MOM! Stop letting your kids get away with everything and anything they want just so you can be "cool". Kids need a parent, not a friend.

OK-so this brings me to the topic du jour. At this same high school, there is now a new scandal. The assistant principal took a trip to Vegas during February break. He had some scandalous pictures taken of him cupping breasts...of wax figures. I shake my head and hold it in my hands. First of all....Hello! Does one NOT know how to use the privacy settings on social networks like FaceBook or MySpace? I am a daily user of FB, if you are not my friend, you cannot access my information, my pictures, my links, my ANYTHING. Secondly...if by some chance you DO visit Vegas and get your friends to take a "cool" picture of you cupping the breast of a Jessica Simpson wax figure...why would you post them on Facebook, or allow your friends to??? Hello...you or your friends are an idiot. So, what happened is, the mother of the student who was awarded after school detention and her friend have been keeping tabs on the district administrators (a.k.a. cyber stalking) and found the asst. Principal's facebook page and photos. What did they do first? Did they contact the school district? No...they contacted the media...THEN they contacted the district. Now, I am in no way condoning the actions of the asst. principal. But as a mother of a student in the district, as a substitute teacher who has worked in the district, I can say this-this particular asst. principal is a major backbone for the discipline of the school. Does he deserve to lose his job? I don't think so. According to the media, the facebook account has been deleted. I tried to search for his account-and came up with nothing. Not to mention, according to a list serve associated with the television station that first aired the story, the photos weren't posted on the Asst. Principal's page, but on a friend's page-where they then tagged him. Is he stupid for not locking down his page so as to limit the people who could view him? Absolutely. Does that stupidity warrant him losing his job? It shouldn't. The superintendent would be doing a greater disservice to the district by letting go of a good administrator.

Moral of the story...everyone should know by now that anything...and I mean ANYTHING that is posted on the Internet is fair game. Networking sites give you the opportunity to keep your privacy, but you have to do the work to change the settings! They aren't going to do it for you!

You have to be proactive in protecting your own privacy. You wouldn't walk around your house naked with all curtains and blinds open and expect that no one would see you, would you? Unless you WANT people to see you walking around naked, or you want everyone and their brother to be able to access the information that you post on the Internet, YOU have to be your own advocate. You have to protect yourself, because no one is going to do it for you.

Just Keep Swimming...

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

So, I'm still plugging away trying to find a job. The prospects of finding a teaching position are getting bleaker and bleaker. Local school districts are announcing cuts left and right. One district just found out last week that they are cutting 22 positions, which is 11 more than I was told they were considering a month ago. I don't know how much of those positions are instructional, they may include bus drivers, custodians, aides, and other "non-essential" personnel. My son's teacher was telling me they are just praying they get to take field trips next year. It's very possible that budget cuts won't allow them the opportunities to take them. It's sad, since it is a vital part of their education. It's one thing to read about a place, completely different to experience it first hand. With some kids, the only chance they get to experience places like that is with school field trips. I love bringing Zach to new and wonderful places. He's been to the NYS museum plenty of times, 2 years ago during his spring break I brought him down to the Museum of Natural History in NYC. This year we are going to Boston-he'll get to go to the Museum of Science, and I might just drag his butt into the Museum of Fine Arts(I want to see the Money exhibit there).

So...I'm looking outside the teaching field for a job. Going 1 year without a full time job has ruined me. I am so thankful that my parents have provided us a wonderful place to live. It's been hard at times, living under the same roof, getting used to each other's routines(or the lack of mine), but Zach has been able to spend a lot of time with his Nena and Papa, and for that I'm an truly thankful. I can't wait to move out.

So far, I've taken a civil service exam for the Dept. of Temporary and Disability Insurance, I'll find out in May how I did. I've signed up for another exam-Bacteriologist. They test food, milk and water sources for signs of contamination(VERY COOL!). Hopefully working in the Microbiology lab at ACC will help me with that. I've applied to Skidmore, Empire State College, and HVCC for non-instructional positions. I've applied to CDPDP, MVP, and WellPoint BCBS(a.k.a. Empire BCBS - which I got the "So Sorry You Suck" EMAIL telling me that my resume was not selected as a finalist in the selection process). Now-to start looking private sector. Where do I start? The yellow pages? It almost seems like a better avenue then the meat market web sites like Monster.com or HotJobs.com, where every other listing is for one of those Work From Home scams.

Looking forward to going to Boston! (11 days and counting!)

Turn and face the strange...

Dictionary.com defines change as: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone; to become different; to become transformed or converted. I'm going through a life change right now. And as we can pretty much all attest....change isn't easy. Changing one's behavior...why is it so darn hard?

I've never been a person to take things lying down. I've learned hard lessons in my life that have shaped the adult that I've become. I've learned that only I can make myself happy. That I should chose the people that I want to share my happiness with very carefully. That being a parent is the hardest job in the world, and that I WILL do it badly. I've learned that looking on the bright side of things can help you through a really tough day. That a hug is a remedy for cuts, tears, and bruises not only of the flesh, but of the heart. That a kind word can go along way. I've learned that you really are hardest on yourself. That there is no such thing as perfection. And I've learned that I am truly loved by my Heavenly Father, and in that I can do anything.

Romans 12:1-2 states "Christians are transformed (changed) by renewing their minds. To live differently, we must think differently. We must not seek to be like the world but to use our bodies in God's service.

To live differently, we must think differently.

My life change.... it's been hard. I had to admit that I've been wrong. That what I've been doing isn't working. I had to sign papers which admitted my defeat. And I'm not done. I have to rehash it all in front of people that I don't know and who will make decisions on my behalf. It's very easy to think that it's all out of my control. But I know that it's not. Life isn't kindergarten. No one is going to catch me if I fall. As much as I would like to have some strong arms come in and swoop me up, I have to put on my big girl panties and do this myself.

I do thank God for putting strong supportive people in my life. Without them, this would be so much harder. They give me words of wisdom, education, and support. They've encouraged me to keep going, and keep striving for something better.

To live differently, we must think differently. But it would be nice to get a hug for the tears...and the bruises of my heart.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

NO TIP!

So, I had REALLY been craving a Doughboy from Esperanto's. If you don't know what a Doughboy is...please let me enlighten you. It is a gooey cheesy goodness with scallions and sautéed chicken wrapped up in pizza dough. It is one of the most delicious things in the world. So, I have been craving them for a week or so now. I tried desperately to talk my Mom into going downtown with us for dinner since Papa is working 2nd shift and wouldn't be home for a meal. She wasn't interested in going downtown, so I settled for Friendly's.

Let me tell you-it is NO substitute. So not worth it. I don't know if my Mother jinxed it from the get-go with her telling me that she no longer goes to this particular Friendly's because she has gotten really bad service there or what. But from the time we ordered...things just went downhill. I ordered water with lemon, so did my Mom. The waters came...no lemon. I ordered a large chocolate milk with my meal...he brought me a chocolate milk in the smallest glass on earth, then said that it was the biggest size. Then came back with a large chocolate milkshake....well, this was bigger, but not quite what I had ordered. Then finally came back with the chocolate milk, which I then declined since I had already started to drink the shake and it was already going to be too much. Zachariah's meal came. He got a slider meal, they shorted him an entire hamburger, plus his burgers were black from where they were overcooked. My mom ordered a chicken fajitas salad, the chicken was overcooked, dry and cold. I ordered the Chicken Fajitas Quesadillas...there was supposed to be a side of sour cream...no sour cream. Then we have no utensils. Everytime the waiter came by and asked me a question he completely misread what I said...I don't consider myself a quiet person. I don't think anyone that knows me would say that audibly I'm quiet. Why is it he had trouble hearing me??

So...needless to say....NO TIP. And I NEVER, and I mean NEVER, have left a restaurant without leaving some kind of tip. But, I couldn't take it. Then on the bottom of the receipt there was a website where you could go and fill out a customer satisfaction survey... You bet your bottom dollar I filled that baby out!

Give the gift of life

The sticker on my shirt clearly states, Be Nice To Me-I Gave Blood Today! My church was holding a blood drive today. A few weeks ago when they announced it I went and signed myself up for it. I had COMPLETELY forgotten about it until we pulled into the parking lot and saw the American Red Cross vans set up in the parking lot. Good thing I drank a TON of water last night! But-I forgot to eat breakfast (b/c I forgot I was giving blood!) so, during service I ran out to the foyer and grabbed 2 glasses of lemonade and a piece of pound cake.

Zach was so worried. He opted to sit vigil by my side as I gave blood instead of going to Rite Aid with Nana. He almost started crying, said he didn't feel comfortable with me giving my blood. I explained to him that I give blood because it helps people. That people have operations or get sick and need blood transfusions and that blood comes from people like me who donate it. He felt much better after I reassured him that it didn't hurt at all. The cookies that he got to eat after I was done helped a little too...

Things I've Learned

A friend sent this to me today, and I <3 it...

I found this today.... and each lesson rang so true.... I felt an urge to share.... These are not my original thoughts... but sure feel like they are:

So, Enjoy!!!!!!!

I've learned-
That you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned-
That it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. That it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned -
That you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you better know something. That you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do. That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned-
That it's taking me a long time to become the person that I want to be. That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned-
That you can keep going long after you can't. That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned-
That either you control your attitude or it controls you. That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is a first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned-
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned-
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned-
That sometimes when I get angry I have the right to be angry, but it doesn't give me the right to be cruel. That true friendship continues to grow over the longest distance, and the same goes for true love.

I've learned-
That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned-
That you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what tragedy it would be if they believed it. That no matter how good your friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while, and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned-
That it isn't always good enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you must learn to forgive yourself. That no matter how bad a heart is broken; the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for whom we become. That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean that they don't love each other, and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned-
That we don't have to change friends, if we understand that friends change. That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned-
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
that the people you care about the most in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned-
That it is hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting someone's feeliings or standing up for what you believe. That no matter what happens to me on earth or how much my faith falters, God's faith in me never dwindles or fails.

I've learned-
That life's lessons never end and wisdom can always be passed on.

Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh...

Last summer I sent Zach to his first sleep-away camp, Word of life, up in Saranac Lake, NY. He was excited but nervous about being without Mommy for the very first time. I tried to pump him up and calm him down by reminding him over and over that he was going to "have tons and tons of fun!" I kept talking up the swimming, canoeing, hayrides, water slides, zip line, etc... etc... etc... I told him that he was going to make friends with all the boys he would be sharing a cabin with. We assured him that they had running water and showers. My mother came with us as I drove the 2 hours up into the Adirondack Park to drop Zachariah off to camp. He was such a trooper, not even a tear as we left him with his capable counselor and a gaggle of other boys his same age at his cabin. I made sure to draft a letter and leave it in his bag so that he had something to read from me at night before he went to bed. Reminded him to wash his hair and brush his teeth every night. My parents and I wrote him letters and mailed them 2 days before he went to camp so that on Day 2 or 3 he would get some nice mail. Half way through his week I made sure to put together a special little care package for him filled with Graham crackers, marshmallows and Hershey bars - all the makings for the perfect Smores.

The following weekend my mother and I drove back up to Saranac Lake to pick Zach up. The whole trip I wondered about all the exciting things he got to do, the kids he had made friends with. I had prayed he'd remembered to douse himself with Off! every day. We pulled into the parking lot and it was a may-lay of kids being reunited with loved ones. I walked up to the main building to claim my child and up walked the most dirty little boy I'd every seen. His hair was tousled, he had red blotches all over his body from where the mosquitoes thought he was an all you can eat buffet. He had band-aids on both knees. He looked anything BUT happy.

On the way home I managed to coax some kind words from him about his stay. He really liked the zip-line, he loved the air trampoline on the lake (although got hurt on it), he got to swim everyday, they went hiking, and had a Smores party and a huge bonfire out front of their cabin during the week. Overall though I was reprimanded for leaving him there all week and was told he cried every night before he went to bed because he missed me so. :(

After getting home I unpacked Zach's things from the car including his duffle bag. I loaded all his dirty laundry into the wash, and upon one last inspection of the bag found a letter addressed to me with a folded up piece of paper in it. It was a letter that Zach had written to me in response to a letter I had written to him....



In case you aren't fluent in "upset 8 year old" the letter reads as such:

No I haven't gone canoeing but I will today. You have to pass your swim test to go canoeing. And I passed my swim test. You have to do 4 laps and tread 4 minutes. I miss you Mommy and Nana and Papa. I want to go home. My leg, arm, head and finger hurt. I have bruises, rashes and sunburn. Please, please, please, please, please bring me home please.

I just found the letter in a pile of papers in my desk a few days ago. I had forgotten the letter that had me in tears....laughing. I had shared the letter with my parents after I found it, mainly because they had wanted to know what I was laughing so hard at that was bringing tears to my eyes. I know I may sound like the worst mother in the world, but if you knew Zachariah, they you would truly see the humor in his pleading.

I asked him tonight if he wanted to go back to the sleep away camp that he went to last summer.... I got a resounding NO!

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Falling asleep

I let too much stuff rumble around in my head. I try not to be a worrier. I try to be this happy go-lucky person that doesn't let anything bother her. It's not always the case. In the past this has left me paralyzed by excruciating migraines. Luckily I'm not having to endear that kind of pain right now. Instead my body is forgoing sleep...

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

Help Wanted?

The market for jobs feels like it's getting smaller and smaller. I've applied to a few insurance companies-but for some reason feel that whatever I may be offered I would be grossly underpaid in relation to my education. Not to mention when you take a gander at the openings listed on some of the job websites - HotJobs, Indeed - 1/2 of the listings are for those get rich quick work online work from home scams! I cannot believe that newspapers are using these websites as a link to their job classifieds. So-I'm thinking I'm going to have to start to tackle the phone book. That's how I got my job with Per-Se Technologies (now McKesson) all those years ago. I had Zachariah and was unemployed. I refused to go back to work for a department store, so, I took out the Yellow Pages and started looking through them for ideas on where to send my resume. The NYS Job Bank through the Dept of Labor isn't too bad. But-that site makes me just wish I had gone back to school for nursing, instead of Biology and Education! Especially with hearing that so many school districts are contemplating staff cuts.

I'm trying to stay positive. I'm praying everyday that the Lord will bring a new employment possibility into my life. I'm trying not to get discouraged. Thank God I have friends that are constantly reassuring me that SOMETHING will come up. I know that I am internalizing my stress though-still apparent with my waning insomnia. It's a toss up, my body usually defaults to migraines with stress...now it's choosing insomnia...I think I'd rather go without sleep...it doesn't hurt as much.

Good Samaritan turns Recurring Insomniac

So, on my way home from work last night I encountered what I thought was a dead cat in the middle of the road. Now day to day if I was to pass a dead cat on the road my heart would wrench, I would call out "Oh!" and then :( but would ultimately keep going thinking that another scavenger animal, or even possibly DOT, would come and take the poor thing away. Last night as I came upon the cat that's exactly what I did, until just as I was passing I caught in the corner of my eye the cat moving. I drove a little further down the road and something made me stop, turn the car around, and go back. As a proud owner of 2 obese lovable fur-balls (my BABIES!!!!), I would hate to see anything in pain and suffering. As I came back I found a very beautiful orange and white stripped tabby lying in the road, he obviously had been hit by a car and left for dead (some people SUCK!!! >:( ). He had lost his stomach contents and his breathing was very heavily labored.

I called 911 immediately. I had been told at some point by someone, of whom and when I can't recall now, that you are supposed to report to the police now when you hit a dog OR a cat. Since this poor animal was lying helpless in the road by itself, I had to assume the person who hit it carelessly kept driving and probably didn't even think about calling anyone.

I waited what seemed like eternity for a state trooper to show up, it was probably only about 10-15 minutes. A very kind NYS trooper came and felt bad for the animal but stated that it was against departmental rules to transport any sick or wounded animals in his vehicle. Shortly after a Saratoga Co. Sheriff's deputy showed up, and unfortunately said the same thing. So, they asked if I would be willing to drive the poor thing to the local animal hospital. The two officers scooped up the cat in a make shift gurney made of a bio-hazard bag and plopped him into my trunk.

On the way up to the Northway Animal Emergency Clinic off of exit 17N a rabbit shot out in front of my car! I hit the brakes and swerved....now hindsight being 20/20-NOT THE BRIGHTEST MOVE, especially with the trooper following behind me at a very close distance. Well, that little scare woke me right up. We pulled into the parking lot and after we got out I asked the trooper if he hit the rabbit, he said no-he avoided it, but that "in the future keep driving straight". He said that driving at that speed (I was doing about 71-72mph) I could have very easily lost control of the car. In my head I'm naively thinking-Ya right, I was in complete control....NOT! He was right....again, I say...hindsight 20/20!

Well they were very nice at the Animal clinic. They asked me if they could save him would I keep him. I had to tell them I already lived in a house with 4 cats (I only claim ownership of 2-the other 2 are my mother's) and that if I came home with 1 more I would be shot. Unfortunately, they had to put him down. I was frankly surprised that when I opened the trunk he was still alive. I thought for sure that he would have take his last breath in the back of my car. And I think my refusal for adopting the cat had something to do with them putting him down. It's much cheaper for an animal hospital to euthanize an animal than it is to fix it up and nurse it back to health. They did have 2 very pretty cats that had been saved by a vet that now live at the hospital. They are blood donor cats-giving life to other cats that are in the same predicament they once were.

In the end I finally made it home an hour and a 1/2 after I had left work. I didn't get to sleep until well after 1am. Having to wake up at 6am this morning-not pretty. I didn't take any melatonin fearing that if I did I would feel like a train hit me. I will be taking it tonight and going to bed at a fairly reasonable time :D

So-the moral of the story-if you want to own a cat-TAKE CARE OF IT! I know some people would disagree with me, but I think cats should be in the house...my babies are indoor cats and are declawed. They couldn't hurt a fly. Well...maybe a fly...or as we call them...crunchy-munchies for the kitties.

Zumba?

Ok, I've started this life transformation in the past few weeks. I've taken the first steps to a better financial future. I'm still looking and praying for a full time job. But I've been thinking about my physical fitness. I hate running. Treadmills...you walk and you don't go anywhere, and I've done the whole working out at Curves and other gyms, I tend to get bored, and stop. So, up late during one of my insomniac moments I caught an infomercial about Zumba Fitness, a dance aerobics. It looks really fun and I'm thinking about ordering it. It's not TOO expensive....$60 for a whole DVD set and workout weights....but I'd like to know if anyone has attended classes or worked out to the videos before. They do hold Zumba classes around here but it's out of my price range right now.

So, let me know! I'm thinking I might order it though! I have a spare TV and DVD player in the basement, I could always hook it up down there where there is plenty of dance space!

Le sigh....

Grrrrrrrrrrr..........