The Dating World as Seen By a Single Mom

Ok, so I recently decided to re-reenter the dating world. As a single mother I do have a hard time "getting out there". I work in a very social place, many people coming and going, but it's not a really great place to get to know anyone. On the advice of a friend I joined a FREE dating website. I completely understand the saying "you get what you pay for" now.



I have been contacted by the weirdest people I have ever seen. Three quarters of them look like creepers, some look like they have been playing Dungeons and Dragons WAYYYYYYY too long; decked out in black clothes, death tattoos and more eye makeup than you would see on a hoard of drag queens. The others look like they are half crack addicts who would be seen on America's Most Wanted.

I finally received an email from a guy who seemed NORMAL. We emailed back and forth, that graduated to texting back and forth, then we talked on the phone...all over the course of a week. We decide to meet, very casual...movie and dinner afterward. He again...seemed very normal. No hanky panky, acted like a gentleman.

So, I agree to the 2ND date.

The 2ND date was supposed to be dinner at a Mom and Pop pizza/pasta place close to his house. Followed by a walk in Central Park (not NYC), and then possibly a movie. I show up at this place...to be informed that I "caught" him on laundry day. He was wearing ratty pajama pants and a wife beater. Then asks me if it's OK if he cooks me dinner? Sure why not... To be surprised by... hamburger helper. Now, I've never had hamburger helper before.... for a good reason. I can't stand hamburger helper. There were no sides, no salad, no wine.... JUST hamburger helper, which we ate out of metal camping bowls, in front of his TV on the couch. Wow...can you stand the ambiance?

He graced me enough to put on a t-shirt for a walk through the park...conversation was eh-getting very weird. His crazy was starting to show through... The date ended early, I went home. Now before the date ended, he had asked me about going to see another movie...for which he asked ME to pay for. Now I had been really wanting to see the movie, it was just coming out, and regardless of WHOM I was going to go with, I was going to see this movie. So I think, what the hell...sure let's go together, figuring this was the last time I was going to hang out with this guy anyway. The next day I order the tickets online to avoid showing up to a sold-out showing. Later on that day, I get a text from him.... "Bad news, I can't afford to go tomorrow. You can get a refund at the box office" :|

So, not being one to get down about such things, I asked a friend to go with me. I text the guy back and said "No worries, I'll just go with a friend".

Now, remember I had decided that once the movie was over I wasn't going to hang out with the guy again. He didn't text me back the day after the movie, and as such, I went and deleted him off my FaceBook a couple of days later to be finished and done with it.

13 days later...I get a text...

"hey... whatever happened?"

Really. Really?

So I respond... "Well, we went on 2 dates, you bailed on the 3rd date, and then I didn't hear from you for 2 weeks... I think it's pretty obvious what happened."

Now, I thought all was said and done with. What more is there to say? Except NO! He was not happy with that response and wanted vindication! So I received the following reply:

"Actually I didn't bail I couldn't afford to go which is what I told you so if you took that as bailing then that's on u... and second of all it takes two ppl to not communicate .. if ur one of those women who waits for guys to text them first then again that's on u as well"

Now a friend of mine suggested to not even answer... just delete his texts and be about my business. But I was now pissed off! WTF! This guy had now, in my book, surpassed a level of crazy that even I was shocked at...and I work with the public people...I see a hella-lotta crazy! So, NO! I was NOT going to just delete his texts...I needed to get in the last word, I needed to get in the last sting. I needed to tell him he is WRONG!!!!

So I did.

"First of all you did bail on a date that was ALREADY PAID FOR. Maybe you should have put whatever little pride you have left aside, and ASKED me. I would have said don't worry about it, I'll get the popcorn and soda... so that is most definitely on you! Secondly, since you were the one who bailed on me etiquette is that YOU are are the one to initiate the next txt/call... Way to take responsibility for YOUR actions... How bout you go your way, I've already gone mine. Lose my number, I've already lost yours."

I've deleted his number...and I haven't had any random texts from unknown numbers... so I'm assuming he took my suggestion and lost my number.

I think I'm done with the free dating website...you truly get what you pay for.

Holy Long Time Batman!

So, in reading other people's blogs I've realized that it's been forever and a day since I've actually blogged on my own. I was pretty good for a while, and then just forgot one day. One day turned into a week...a week turned into a month...well, you get the picture!

So...what's been going on in my wonderful life?

Let's see...I've been to so many different interviews with my company in an attempt to get a better paying job I've lost count. I am currently awaiting a 2nd interview, which is scheduled for Tuesday at 8am(EEEEK! That's EARLY!). I really do enjoy working for the company. They are very good to their employees...I just need a change. And...better pay, but who couldn't use that.

Also...I need to get out of my parents house. I'm not really sure how I'm going to go about this as of yet. My parents and I have talked about it... February is the time line for operation "Get Heather Outta The House". Getting a better paying job is of course first on the list to enable me to do this. I just haven't been able to save ANY money since I've been here for 2 (LONG) years. I'm so completely bad at money management. It's one of my faults, something I don't care to work on truthfully. I hate it! I've always been able to manage my own household, that's not an issue, I just can never save money. In part that the man in my life in the past always did it for me, for better or for worse at least. I have been saving a little money each week, thanks to the employee savings plans through work. But, those won't come to maturity till October and next April. I've been really good and haven't touched them at all. I opened up a savings and checking account through the credit union at work which direct deposits money every week, but it's WAYYY to easy to WITHDRAW said money!

Ugh...it's something I will be working on for the rest of my life.